Bob Delmont

Bob Delmont

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What is the secret to finding lasting love?

couple in love crossed their arms in the shape of a heart in a restaurant on valentine's day

Photo: Svetlana Repnitskaya / Moment / Getty Images

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Dating can be a real downer, especially when singles have to contend with ghosting, gaslighting and all the things potential partners do that give them the ick. But one expert in the world of romance is sharing advice for how to avoid all that and find the ideal partner for your happily ever after.

Annie Zimmerman, a therapist and relationship expert from the U.K. is sharing what she says are her five best dating tips for those looking for their person to settle down with in a serious relationship.

  • Become your beloved - Her number one tip is to “embody the person you’re trying to attract.” So if you’re looking for someone who’s emotionally available and a good communicator, she advises leading by example by communicating and being emotionally available to them.
  • Say “no” like a pro - “Don’t try to force things,” Zimmerman stresses. “Listen to your gut and be prepared to say ‘no’ quickly if things don’t feel right.”
  • Don’t get thrown for a loop - If it feels too good to be true, that’s a potential red flag. The expert recommends watching out for “that intense chemistry that makes your head spin and feel like you’re on a roller coaster because things are so up and down.” That kind of whirlwind may be a sign this isn’t the stability you’re looking for.
  • Choose wisely - If you don’t like how someone is right now and you’re hoping that they’ll change one day, Zimmerman warns that you’ll probably be disappointed in the long run. “Don’t date ‘projects,’” she warns. “Don’t date someone’s potential.”
  • Value you - This means only putting your energy into what feels equal and reciprocated, according to the therapist. She says you can’t feel safe and secure with someone who’s uncertain about you or who isn’t consistent. She sums it up: “Know your worth and move on.”

Source: NY Post

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